| You guys! |
[
March 8th, 2008 ï 8:53pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
I would love to update you all, but SO much has been going on.
Surfice it to say that Im pretty happy with they way thing are going.
And I have always loved the rain.
|
| Typical |
[
January 2nd, 2008 ï 11:03pm
] |
So I know That around this time of year everyone gets all sappy and contemplative so I know you've probably heard a lot of this lately but I don't do this often so indulge me. 2007 has come to an end! And yes, It was a very difficult year for most of us. A lot of crazy things happened. Firstly. I've met some of the most miserable people I could ever meet his year, one of which I will carry with me always. Together we've mourned the loss of lives, homes, jobs. We've had our hearts broken. Friendships were broken that might not ever be mended again.
And through it all, we found ourselves. We learned what its like to be a friend, and to be part of a family. There were days that made us wonder what we're all doing here .. and we loved every minute of it. We found reasons to get through it all. We celebrated the birth of an amazing little girl who has changed all of our lives forever. We celebrated her baptism, along with the baptism and the 1st birthday of a little boy who has a family. A whole, working, solid family - which is amazing in it of itself. We made new friends and connected with old ones. We learned to cook better, but we ate and drank out often. We learned to fight for what we want and also for what we don't. We learned that you don't need an excuse to get together, or a reason to be happy. We let go of ourselves and Our best times were the ones spent enjoying each other - nights where we didn't even realize we were making memories to last us forever.
What Im trying to say is. Stop worrying so much. Be happy. Smile. Enjoy your friends.
Take every opportunity you have to maybe have the time of your life.
|
| To Explain... |
[
October 9th, 2007 ï 10:03pm
] |
|
Its like.... its like what you'd get if you mixed the present and the future. If you took adoration and loathing and shook them up in a blender, with a twist. Too bored to stay, too scared to leave. Its like when you notice a stranger walking behind you in the middle of the night.You cant help but wonder if they're following you. But Maybe its just a passer by. another lonely soul, walking the same pace you are because... well.. maybe that's the pace of the world.
|
|
[
September 11th, 2007 ï 5:03pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
Is it just me or was this summer a little crazy? Its been a tough one. And I think that its been a defining time for a lot of us. It seems like we either found ourselves or lost ourselves. And I've got to say ... I think I've learned a lot. I've met and reconnected with some amazing people. I've also met some of the most miserable people on earth. And I feel bad for them. Because they don't know. I wish I could tell them, I mean, don't you get it? There are things that are irreplaceable .. And they're simple things. Stuff I never really thought about, and especially didn't think about them making life feel worthwhile. Have a drink with old friends. breathe fresh air. Rock a baby to sleep. Color. Work up a good sweat every day. Play with a toddler. Teach someone something. Learn. Celebrate fear. Be proud. Make a perfect stranger smile. Dance. Let people connect with you and cherish that. Draw a line in the sand at the beach where 2 worlds meet. Care. About anything. Live with passion.
I realize we're all busy. Everything is crazy. But It doesn't matter how many hours we work, or where or with who. I think what matters most is who we are. How we deal with people. How we handle heartbreaks and let downs. How we help our friends and care for our children. Those little moments that get you through.
Right?
|
| A little late, but ... |
[
July 12th, 2006 ï 11:30am
] |
Awwwww! Hayden!!
<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Much, much heart. :)
|
|
[
June 28th, 2006 ï 3:46pm
] |
Sorry, sorry. Not much time to update. Not much time to do anything lately, really. Ive been trying to keep up as much as possible but that is, of course, impossible. Not to mention that I havnt seen most of you motherfuckers in weeks. Update?
SO much has been happening.
I cant even go into detail.
I dont know what my deal is lately.
I'm already getting super bored woth school .. my GPA is only 3.8. Im pissed.
I havnt written anything in a while. Anything substantial, anyway.
I put far too much thought into things. In case you havnt already noticed ..
....and I DO think about things more than you realize.
But you know, you gotta ask if you'll even even come close to figuring it out.
You ever realize that while you're freaking out over the little things .. big things hpapen to make you say "What the FUCK?" Yeah. That's happening.
You know I pray for you ...
|
|
[
May 22nd, 2006 ï 10:42pm
] |
Are you fucking SERIOUS??
You cannot possibly be serious.
I cannot believe this is happening.
Fuck.
|
|
[
May 21st, 2006 ï 1:26pm
] |
If I disappear off your radar ... Don;t worry about it. Just give me a few days.
I'm adjusting.
|
|
[
May 20th, 2006 ï 1:10am
] |
So. Starting monday the schedule is as follows:
Monday - Thursday : school 8am - 3 pm
Thusday -sunday work, 7pm - 7 am.
So ... downtime is relitively limited, given that I have everything ever else on my plate as well. I know alot of you mother fuckers are home from school now, so let me knowwwww if you wanna work out some afternoon/some mornings.. :)
|
| Yeah. |
[
May 16th, 2006 ï 10:37pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
Tonight's one of those nights where i could just pour it all out.
|
|
[
May 15th, 2006 ï 10:22pm
] |
So Ive decided to do something a little different .. I kind of took a couple of different rants and a couple of different coool conversations Ive had and put them into a story .... its the first one Ive finishd in a loooong time .. and probably the last one in a while. Cuz its relitively long. Anyway, its under the cut. If you read it, review please? Thank youuuuuuu loverlies. :)
( Read more... )
|
|
[
May 11th, 2006 ï 10:39pm
] |
So. This is what I just found out. To train for the job I want ... I will be gone for :
9 weeks for basic training
52 - 75 weeks in monterey, california
5 months in texas
is it worth 2 years? I dont know. Honestly. Help.
|
|
[
May 8th, 2006 ï 9:00pm
] |
We all have our insecurities.
What makes you so special that you can hurt other people becuase of yours?
|
| hahahaha |
[
May 8th, 2006 ï 8:05pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
BLaZe Ya DeaD h0: im gonna make her piss her pants
BLaZe Ya DeaD h0: and when i get the right number
BLaZe Ya DeaD h0: im gonna get people to randomly call her
BLaZe Ya DeaD h0: and be like DONT SLEEP MUHFUCKER
|
|
[
May 6th, 2006 ï 5:32pm
] |
|
rocky, rocky...
|
|
[
May 4th, 2006 ï 10:16pm
] |
Do you believe in ghosts, my dear?
Impossable and strong
Who wrap themselves around themselves
And sing their silent song ...
|
|
[
May 3rd, 2006 ï 11:12pm
] |
Its been a really long time. She looks so .. young, you know?
:(
|
|
[
May 1st, 2006 ï 8:50pm
] |
|
Jeff Dunahm rocked. like whoa. Im basically in love with life right now. Ececpt that my cellphone is broke. Whats wrong with it? I have no idea. That little metal piece at the bottom is ... gone haha So needless to say, I cant charge my phone. But Imma have my bro fix it when he gets back from wherever the hell he is. If you need me, LJ or Myspace it up ... but I do have to warn you ... I started that job so. you know. Dont expect a responce as speedy as usual. Viva la ... yeah. :)
|
|
[
April 28th, 2006 ï 10:40pm
] |
|
Well, hell. I'll give anyone in a cowboy hat a chance. :)
|
|
[
April 27th, 2006 ï 10:41pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
This took a lot longer than I expected haha. But ok. You wanna play this game? Let's do it. :)
Answered your questions, Doc. But since I had my choice of 2 different lists, I did a lil switcheroo... I did questiones 1,2,4,abd 5 from Kris' list, and number 3 from the list you gave me. Cuz really, I didnt have an answer to Q 3 on Kris' list. :) Here's goes...
1. What kind of life do you think you’ll have in ten years?
For as long as I can remember, I've nursed a passion for people as individuals. I've always been intrigued by people and how they think, and how their past experiences effect their every day lives. I've always wanted to walk up to someone, anyone, and say "tell me your story" ...and (talent permitting) turn their experiences into books that bring to the forefront the true hardships and compensations of living. Recently, I had a couple of chances to do just that. However, I found out that it's very difficult to channel the intensity of human emotion into anything concrete and manageable. In 10 years, I would like to be in a place in my life where, mind and spirit, I would be able to write things that truly show the complexity and marvel of the human spirit.
2. What is the most important thing in your life? Explain why.
Certain people non withstanding; my ideas, my reality, my mind are things I hold very dearly. Other than that ... nothing in my life is all that important to me. I think I’ve made it that way ... And I also think its my greatest flaw.
3. What is your favorite movie? Why?
My favorite movie is the Believer. Ryan Gosling portrays the role really well, and it IS based on a true story. It's a good example of how one person can be of two different minds. It highlights the struggle that occurs when one truly believes in 2 completely different life paths that contradict. Although I've personally never had the "should I be a nazi or not?" conversation with myself, however, I completely understand the predicament of being a complete contradiction to yourself.
"homicidal tendencies, suicidal thoughts...
trapped in a memory
can't recover what's been lost.
of my mind, of my spirit, of my life, of my pride
contradiction to myself ..
never meant to live a lie. "
4. What do you wish for those who have hurt you or those you love? Good? Bad? Explain why you feel this way.
I'd like to play the righteous card and say "I just want everyone to be happy..." But in all really, I'm a Huge believer in karma and karma tic justice. So, honestly, I'd like to see people learn from their mistakes. .... Of all the people who have hurt me, the ones that stand out the most, obviously, are the ones who have hurt me the most. And of all those times, I can honestly say that I didn't deserve it. I've deserved some things, and I'll own up to it. But to those who've hurt me - I wish for you to understand that life's too short. Nothing really is worth hurting people like I've been hurt. Life would be much easier if you just owned up to yourself and treated people better. (Which is hard so .. I guess that's kind of a punishment?)
To those I love - I wish you more hope and happiness then you dream of. I hope that every day your expectations of life increase, and in turn, that every day life exceeds your expectations.
5. Describe your parents and what they mean to you, what they taught you, how you’ll honor their legacy in your own life.
I don't know what to say about my parents. I suppose it's the typical story: growing up I thought I was nothing like them. But the more I observe, and the older I get .. the more mind-blowing the similarities are. My dad, for instance, loves iced coffee. If he's out, and passes a coffee place ... he gets an iced coffee. Which doesn't seem like a big deal, but ... if you know me you know that I do the exact same thing. We both like tattoos, and R&B, and nachos bell grande from taco bell. I adore stand up comedy, and if there's stand up on tv at all, at any time .. my dad's watching it. Out of all the members of my family, I think I'm growing most like my dad, which terrifies some people. My mom and all my brothers are homebodies. They're perfectly content hanging around the house and doing whatever. And although I don't mind that, my dad and I are both very social people. Although it doesn't seem very substantial, it's weird that we're so much alike, but we still dont quite like each other.
My mom, on the other hand, is my hero. She's the most amazing person I know, and maybe that I'll ever know. I know most people will say that about their mom dukes, but I mean it. Every single talent that I posses, I got from my mom. If I'm a good writer, my mom is phenomenal. She's one of the best guitar players I know. And she's got an amazing singing voice. ..... No one hears her sing, though. She hasn't done any of that in a while. I truly believe that my mom could have done anything she wanted to do. But she gave it up. For me. For her kids. So now, she lives in fall river, in a very tight-quarters apartment, barely making it... .I'm sure she's content ... but still, I wonder sometimes. I guess some people would say that I have a pretty string spirit. I've got one of those "walk it off" attitudes. I know my mom's sick ... really sick. But from looking at her, you could never tell. She works twice as hard now then I've ever seen her work. I'm glad I got that attitude from her ... It's gotten me through more stuff then I think most people my age have been through. I've never done drugs, I never saw the point. It wasn't even thought to be tolerated in my household. It wasn't even treated as an issue. To this day, the thought of anything of the sort is completely un-alluring to me., Thanks, mom .. you saved me a lot of money and embarrassing stories ... not to mention probably an addiction or two. Basically, to sum it up .... I find it hard to believe that this was the life my mom pictured when she was my age. But she's living it, so that we can have more than she had. Every day I promise myself that I won't let her down. I could never endure knowing that she thought she failed .... That simple fact gives me a perseverance that I don't see in a lot of other people. And its another reason why I haven't gotten as sidetracked as some of my friends seem to have gotten. For that alone, my mom deserves the world. But don't worry. Some day, I'll give it to her.
Well, there you have it.
|
|
[
April 26th, 2006 ï 9:24am
] |
Ok ok Im gonna explain the last few entries ... mostly because it'll take much less effort to do so than to reply to Ivy's 950 comments . (ok, 1 lol) I finally got to it and started working out like I should, like hardcore again. And I ost 7 pounds last week in the process. So I guess thats cool. However, also, in the process ... I twisted my ankle or did something to it cuz it huuuurts. However, we do walk or hike almost every day if you want to join us .. we'll be doing it until at least the end of Sept, when my friend Kris gets married. :)
on a completely unrelated note .. I dunno wtf happened but my bed is soooo comfy lately ... lol
|
| Just thinking ... |
[
April 25th, 2006 ï 10:24pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
I heard a statement today, and It kind of got me thinking. This guy I was talking to said "A true artist is always misunderstood." And he meant it. According to him, it's the niche of the artist to be elaborate, enigmatic .. and just out of reach of the natrual state of mind. Is that really the persona of an "artist"? Because....I disagree. In my opinion, an arist doesnt exist to be misunderstood ... quite the contrary .. it's an artist's calling to NOT be misunderstood .. Artists speak truths about the universe that normally would go unoticed... it's a gift to those be able to decipher the abstract and translate it into terms that the everyday senses can percieve ... and that, at least partly, is the point of any form of art, right? Therefore, if you're an artist, and you're constantly misunderstood .... doesn't it .. kind of defeat the purpose?
|
|
[
April 23rd, 2006 ï 9:33pm
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
I'm spinning downward and backward and out of control
And I just need a foothold, all I need is a foothold.
Will you be my savior, a place for my head?
Asylum for thoughts that are now almost dead.
And I need to get out of this shit that I'm in
I'll talk if you'll listen, but where to begin?
My story of my past of my life on the streets
Or my house on the corner
3 feet by 5 feet.
Or was that just a dream that I drempt while awake?
I'll pretend that it was - for both of our sakes.
Do you remember me as I was long ago?
....Or will you pretend I was some street punk, unknown?
|
|
[
April 23rd, 2006 ï 3:14pm
] |
S
E
V
E
N
!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
[
April 21st, 2006 ï 9:05pm
] |
|
Bitches love me cuz they know that I can rock ...
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
aquariuscomplex's journal